DB

For most of my life, I grew up completing things on the due date. Yes, nothing would be submitted late (for the most part) and my assignments would be completed when they were expected to be done.

The day of.

On the day that something needed to be completed, I would be working to complete and finish what I needed to. That is what I am doing now with this blogpost. This is a pattern of behavior which has returned to me, and I don’t feel terrible about it. I want to talk about what helps enforce this pattern of behavior, what helps me in breaking it, and how to process the feelings and thoughts that occur when you relapse.

Enforcing procrastination

For me, one of the things that I have noticed is that when I get into a procrastinating mood, I am typically engorging myself on media. This is typical digital media–I don’t typically procrastinate when I’m binging books. I am watching lots of new shows, shorts, and video essays. Anime, mostly. And while some of them are valuable entertainment that can be thought provoking, with nuanced arguments, philosophies, histories, and scientific discoveries…a good portion of them are candy for the brain.

They’re mindlessly entertaining.

When I feel moderately displeased about something, whether it is because I am stressed because I am busy, or if I didn’t get to complete a book that I checked out, there is something satisfying about being able to go back and get a little buzz of entertainment from a YouTube short or from an episode of a show. It is this satisfaction that I end up seeking out–the immediate gratification of watching something–that I turn to instead of seeking out things that will give me satisfaction for completing long-term projects and tasks.

And for the most part, I will stick to this habit of activity. Unless it is actively sabotaging my professional life, or significantly damaging my personal life…I’ll stick to it. Sure, I don’t get a lot of books read. And sure, I might be writing blogposts on the day that they’re due…but I still complete my work. I still run my weekly games. The big ticket items are still being completed. As I’ve learned in a book I’ve read once on procrastination, What Motivates Getting Things Done, I’m due date motivated, rather than task motivated. As long as I complete the things that I value, I remain successful. I’ve met my “win conditions”.

Breaking the cycle

To be honest, the best thing that gets me to break the cycle of procrastination is to commit myself to more responsibilities. They must be things that I care about–this is usually involving myself or committing myself to other people. While I’m fine with letting myself down–I’ll get to those books eventually–I am not as fine with letting others down. So, I set up dates to hang out with friends, or take an improv class, or perform in a show. The less time that I have available to spend on my distractions, the less that I rely on them.

And I start to note how the distraction is getting enforced. Am I getting notifications on my phone? Disable them. Am I doing tasks daily that I would rather not be? When I notice that I’m seeking out the classic YouTube app on my phone, I take notice of it and I choose not to engage with it.

And honestly? Meditation–it’s been a godsend for me. While I haven’t been committing to meditating every day, I notice that my mind is a lot more open to the idea of doing nothing. It’s in the rest period of inactivity that I can recover, settle down, and can prepare myself to start at something that I want to complete.

Feelings of relapse

This isn’t the first time that I’ve relapsed into procrastination and a less-than-productive lifestyle. Honestly, it’s a task of looking back at the state of where I was, and comparing myself to now. There was a time where I fell to depression–I wasn’t getting anything done, and I really didn’t enjoy life. Was I procrastinating then? Sure, but it was also a side-effect of me not liking myself nor life. It wasn’t procrastinating because I was distracted. It was me losing a grip on wanting to be alive. That is a very different problem.

So, I reassess as to whether this bout of procrastination is a symptom of a greater issue. In this case, it’s not. I look at the responsibilities I need to fulfill in my personal and professional life. Am I meeting them? I am. Good! I’m not doing that terrible at all. But, what am I missing? Man, lots of books that I really wanted to read? I really enjoy reading, and I’m not getting any of that done. That is a problem, and now I can start working slowly to solve it.

It’s not something that I just decide to solve. I don’t flip a switch and boom, I’m done procrastinating. It’s a steady process of recognizing behavior I don’t want, along with their triggers, and minimizing those triggering events or responding to them positively. In my case, it’s easy because I’m not destroying myself. But, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of unforgiveness. I’ve done so before, and it’s not great or fair. When you’re attacking yourself, you do the most damage. One of the few things we can do when we’re trying to do better is to recognize our effort and praise it. Hey–you got one step closer to your goal. That’s worth a small golf clap.

Anyway, that’s all of it. I am going to be a bit busy for the next few months as I work on projects, and catch up on my reading. And hopefully, I’ll be writing a few of these ahead of time to make sure that everything gets done. Until next time!