DB

I think about how to be a better GM all the time. It used to be worrying before, and from a place of anxious perfectionism. Nowadays, I can comfortably say that it’s for the sake of getting better. I decoupled the toxicity from the desire to get better at a skill, and I’m in a lot better of a place.

I’ve made a lot of concessions to get into that comfortable headspace to be able to look at my play and performance to make changes that may improve the performance on my end, and the experience for my fellow players. One of the concessions was that “I won’t do it if it isn’t fun.”

That makes sense, right? We play games to have fun, to have some sort of release, to explore philosophies, relationships, characters, and worlds. We play to challenge ourselves, laugh, and to have a good time. So, if we’re not having a good time, if we’re not having fun, then we shouldn’t do it, right?

On Practicing

One of the first things that pop into my head as “not fun” is practicing. Any sort of thing, and any sort of skill. When you pick up something new, there is something gratifying in trying something new and learning about all the basic building blocks you need to get that skill off of the ground. After you get over the short high that’s the joy of experiencing something novel is when you figure out if you’d like to continue doing it–and how often you’ll do it.

If you can’t find joy in repetition and practice, then you can’t get better at a skill. That’s how we learn. We don’t become masters in a moment, or overnight. And while we can continue to chug away at a challenge through sheer willpower, that’s not always fulfilling.

There is a balance, of course. There are some things that we have to get better at because it’s our job–it’s something we have to do. There are some things that we choose to do in our spare time just because we enjoy doing it…at first. If we can’t press on through the feeling of frustration and monotony that comes with learning, then we’re doomed, right?

Well, that problem is identifying what you enjoy. Make the process fun for you. Set small, achievable goals, and see if you can make progress towards them. Take pride in those small successes, despite a loss. That’s how practice gets better–by learning how to think about and approach it in a better way.

On Required Events and Tasks

Aside from practicing something that we enjoy, but that we may not appreciate the growing process of, there are other things that we do that we don’t enjoy, but need to get done. These can literally be chores, and errands that you run around the house or need to go out to do. If the fridge has no food, you gotta get more food. If your space clean in some moderate way, you’ll lose things in the mess. Heck, you may be ashamed to bring over some friends or family because of the mess, and that’s just a general stopgap to having get-togethers.

For a few of these tasks, you can get around the struggle of them by figuring out which take the most time, and which take the most out of you as a person. Maybe it’s emotionally, or energetically draining to go shopping for clothes (it is for me!). You should schedule only that task for that day, so that you don’t become overburdened from straining yourself. And heck, space it out if it’s a big deal. You don’t have to clean your car every day, or clean every day. Maybe once a week? Whichever works for you.

The Joy of Your Loved Ones

There are chores that must be done, and there are…well, events that we would rather not do. Parties, weddings, get-togethers…hell, there are games, and performances that we may not want to go to. But hey, the people that are going to be there are people that you love. Or, they’re family, which is a difficult obstacle to navigate on its own.

You decide to go to the thing. And you know that it’s to support, or to see someone that you care about. Their company can be enough, but sometimes, in the case of a sporting event or a performance, you might not see them until after it’s been completed. How do you enjoy yourself in the midst of what, for you, is a struggle?

You can play some games. You know, the small sort that’s involved in the activity. You can try to bet how many times the ball will be hit. You can try to find the people who cheer loudly, and heck, maybe you’re the loud cheering person! Make bets about what they’ll shout and say, and if they have a set list of responses. Find other people who may be nodding off in the audience, and make a bet about how…

Okay, my problem may be shining through. It doesn’t all have to be gambling–just bet against yourself, and see if you’re right. You’re…practicing your skill of foresight? Anyway.

People watching is one of my favorite things to do when I’m at a performance or sporting event that I didn’t want to go to. I try to latch onto the strong responses of the rest of the audience. Are there teams, and is this a competition? How do they react during the game, or the performance? Which parts can I buy into, and what’s…what’s good in this activity? How do I know if they’re doing well? And…

How are the players and performers affecting the audience? Are they proud, rallying around their banner? Are they moved, fully invested in their storytelling? Maybe those feelings and intentions won’t reach you, but they’ll reach others in the crowd. And hey, I think you can appreciate that.

It’s Not Always Fun

We sacrifice for ourselves and the people that we love. Sometimes we might not enjoy practicing, but we find ways to make it enjoyable so that we can improve. Sometimes we might not enjoy going to a performance or game, but we find the small beauties to better appreciate and understand the things that our loved ones hold dear.

And sometimes, we run and play in games that we don’t enjoy all the time. We find the small concessions, live through the fun of our fellow players, and at the end of the day, if we don’t enjoy it? We can move on, and that’s not the end of the world.